THIS MONTH’S PRINT HEADLINES, AUGUST/SEPT. 2011 ISSUE!

Morris & Riden...did they, or didn't they?

Isaiah Tapia, young scum from Edwards County

Mr. Lamont....avoiding prison like the plague....

Ashlie Pool, trigger-puller....and what IS that pink thing in her hair????

Theresa "WTF?" Rottinghaus

Diego Sanchez. He looks like that all the time.

Erica Vance...no longer working at Granny's

Lakisha Coleman, bad houseguest

Here are your print headlines for the current issue of Disclosure, on stands now! The headline is preceded by the dateline (the county or town where the article’s info occurred) and is followed by a brief synopsis of the article.

Morris & Riden...did they, or didn't they?

POPE/SALINE COs.—Cops involved in bar altercation: The story you’ve been waiting for…to see whether Morris and Riden have been badbadbad.

SUMNER—Child’s death divides town: Some of the most reprehensible sentiments we’ve ever seen expressed on a Facebook page are right here in this story about the death of little David Kearby. Dopes don’t need coddled; they need beaten. Or at least they need done to them what they do to others…because isn’t that the Golden Rule?

OLNEY—City councilman vomits opinion; city manager steps down: Our special take on what the resignation of Randy Bukas REALLY means for Olney.

SALINE CO.—Drew’s decision: Fort, or Hutch?: You’re just not even gonna believe this one. This is one that has to be read to even begin conceptualizing; we can’t explain it here in brief.

GALLATIN CO.—Retirement funds questioned: Yes, it’s about Gallatin County Schools. No, it turned out to be not what you’re all thinking it is.

HARRISBURG—Biker bar under fire in wake of brutal beating: some details we didn’t have when it first went down have been added to the story about Brandon Bebout and Chris Wiley.

Cheeseboy....second-in-command at WEMA no more

WABASH CO.—E911 coordinator resigns under threat of termination after board finds money missing: Things are getting lots, LOTS worse for Colby “Cheeseboy” Rigg. We’re wondering if he’s gonna make it through this, actually.

CLAY/WHITE COs.—Heads rolling at DOC; reappearance of former sheriff in the workforce: We’ve found Lee Ryker. He’s right where taxpayers left him. In Clay County. Also, stanky Bill Peyton has reared his ugly head, too. Or rather, tucked it between his legs and moved on, from Jefferson County.

EDWARDS CO.—Traffic stop yields handful of felonies: Edwards has some pretty good deputies; nothing much gets past them.

GALLATIN CO.—Repeat offender and cohort busted for burglary: The sad, sad tale of William Patton.

SALINE CO.—Nabbed with pillowcase full of loot: Hey, if you’re gonna steal a pillowcase, fill it with loot, for shore.

WABASH CO.—Pair charged with harboring mega-doper: We really wish Wabash County would put police reports in their files. I’m sure there’s something COMPLETELY amusing about the full tale behind this story…

CLAY CO.—Charged with hitting EMT and spitting on ER nurse: How to become a felon in three easy steps: get arrested, slap the shit out of the person trying to get you into an ambulance, then throw bodily fluids at the E room nurse.

Isaiah Tapia, young scum from Edwards County:

WAYNE CO.—Illegal weapons bust has drug connection: Isaiah Tapia, one of the nastiest Edwards County crims out there because he’s connected to the COMPTONS, was busted after Tina West was. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

LAWRENCE CO.—Local pimp thought to be behind yet another round of recent drug busts: If Hootie the Cootie Wells ever made one big mistake in his life, it was hooking up with Ang’s daughter last year; he’d have likely never come to our attention otherwise. Too bad for him, huh?

SALINE CO.—Woman caught lying to authorities after fingering another couple for heist at Granny’s: People should be grateful they have a job…not trying to see what they can filch from it.

Erica Vance...no longer working at Granny's

HAMILTON CO.—Saline crims busted for drugs in Hamilton: Sometimes, the hometown anny isn’t good enough.

ALBION—Charges are amended in beating death: Shady Beatty, doomed from birth with that name, is put on the hook for even more charges.

LAWRENCE CO.—Charged with sexual abuse of teenage girl: Like we said on the podcast Monday….too much of this going on.

Mr. Lamont....avoiding prison like the plague....

WHITE CO.—Four in White busted with methamphetamine: Folks are wondering if the belligerent Jerry Wayne Lamont will actually go to prison this time.

CRAWFORD CO.—Former cop busted for DUI, resisting arrest and battery: Crawford County’s perpetuatl loser, Dave Devin; he can’t stay a cop, he couldn’t win sheriff and now his ass is hemmed up because he can’t stop drinking and driving.

LAWRENCE CO.— Trio of miscreants busted for burglary: One of the trio is one of the little bitches who was in Ang’s car when Lawrence County punks decided to take it for a joyride last fall. Enjoy your jail stay, loser.

Ashlie Pool, trigger-puller....and what IS that pink thing in her hair????

RICHLAND CO.—Trigger-pulling teen doing 180 days in the county jail: Lil Ashlie Pool started early….too bad David Hyde doesn’t care about sex offenders; if he did, the bf whose house she shot up last year would be charged right now instead of whining about having his house shot up.

JASPER CO.—Accused synthetic cannabinoid dealer waives extradition: Punkass Jared Woodard feels like he’s good to come on back to IL and face his accusers. What I wanna know is…where’s he been, and who the hell let him go?!?

WABASH CO.—Cruiser-kicking crim pouts about the judge: One of Jeannie Lyn Eckiss (Cullivan/McWilliams/Gourley/who knows what else) errant kids  in trouble again, because they know of no other way to be.

GALLATIN CO.—Four charged in Shawneetown burglary: They just had to have their booze, I guess.

Theresa "WTF?" Rottinghaus

RICHLAND CO.—Woman who threatened to dig up ex’s dead dog threatens during call to sue Disclosure: We had an idea this chick, Theresa Rottinghaus, was a nut just judging by the calls we got from her. Then when we looked into her history, well…let’s just say we just had no idear how bad it really was.

CRAWFORD CO.—Charged with molesting 13-year-old: Lot of that going on in Crawford..

SALINE CO.—Xanax high used as burglary defense: Crims are coming up with the most novel excuses for their behavior these days…

HAMILTON CO.—Pair charged with stealing NH tractor: One question…why?

WHITE CO.—Teen charged with burglary, obstruction: His name is Jeremiah Johnson, and no, he’s not a mountain man.

SALINE CO.—Masked men, gunfire and pistol-whipping in the Mills spawn manhunt for Marion thugs: And they haven’t been arrested yet, either.

RICHLAND CO.—Jury trial has been set for man who dragged deputy: Justin Doris, still behaving as though he’s privileged.

SALINE CO.—Teen snatches Chicken Bob’s gas can from garage: Of all people to steal from…

WAYNE CO.—Child sex offenders caught at Sam Dale Lake Park: Always notify your local rabbit cop when you spot a sex offender at the state park.

CRAWFORD CO.—Oblong man sleeping on horizontal track squares off with cop: Me, I’m always playing with geometric shape references for headlines.

RICHLAND CO.—Jailed for refusing to be cuffed in emergency room: You’d think that Jessica Gay (aka Beck and other hyphenated names) might take a little better care with her behavior since she painted a target on her back by hanging with the Acords, but apparently not….

Diego Sanchez. He looks like that all the time.

SO. ILL.—Pumpkin-pickers wreaking traffic, other havoc in the area; clogging local Wal-Marts: It’s that time of year—time for the illegal/semi legal filth to swarm the area, impregnate your daughters and run up law enforcement and court costs.

SALINE CO.—Eats deli sandwich while pulling residential burglary: Some people have no concept of what’s socially acceptable when they come to visit. Especially those who come to visit when someone’s not home.

Lakisha Coleman, bad houseguest

SALINE CO.—California man confesses to stripping wire from restaurant: If the government would just let us melt down our pennies, this shit wouldn’t keep happening.

WHITE CO.—Busted for leaving the scene of an accident: Crossville guy trying to keep the cops from finding out he doesn’t have a license. Surprise! It doesn’t work

RICHLAND CO.—Teen jailed on felony stolen vehicle charge: Don’t know what it is with people in Richland giving their kids four names, but this guy is one of em.

RICHLAND CO.—Dope lands boozer-thief back behind bars: Kid with a problem, fo sho.

GALLATIN CO.—New Haven woman charged in theft: Unlawful control alleged exercised.

SALINE CO.—Trooper and missus headed for mediation in divorce; identity of cuckold confirmed: It’s not the younger Chris Schimp, it’s the ELDER Chris Schimp who’s usurped Trooper Lane in his marriage. Git that shovel, Brittster, keep on diggin for that gold….

WAYNE CO.—Attorney discusses ‘magic money’ for dog: Wayne County board meeting wherein prosecutor David Williams justifies spending $20,000 for a drug dog, the last one of which the current sheriff just lost interest in.

SALINE CO.—Collision with donkey ends high speed chase: One of those “huh?” stories.

HARDIN CO.—Juggalo invasion calmer; only one death: The scaled-down version of The Gathering of the Juggalos. I just wanna know….what’s “Molly”?

SALINE CO.—Stolen vehicle leads to stolen ‘Yard Man’ from local loser: Paul McFreakSparin just can’t stay out of our paper.

SO. ILL.—Civil unions decline in area: Whole lot less unioning going on.

WHITE CO.—Baby-burner sent to DOC on weak sentence: James Kerns goes to biggie-boy prison. For a little while.

LAWRENCE CO.—CO fighting to get job back: Just when you thought Haysoos was outta the picture.

WILLIAMSON CO.—Drug punk whines over state of momma’s record: Nate Lawrence, wannabe drug thug.

ELIZABETHTOWN—Upheaval in E-town leaves officials seeking abrupt resignations: Something my wife absolutely HATES: this story was already obsolete by the time it hit the stands; looks like Tommy Seiner isn’t quite village president yet.

HAMILTON CO.—Mental patient charged with battering grandma: Jennifer Vailes and her lack of hair are featured on the back page.

CLAY CO.—Charged in DUI death; bogus handbags are the least of their worries: Not only does the former county board chair’s son face DUI (finally), but he’s being taken to court at the federal level by Coach.

LAWRENCEVILLE—Man found dead in Lawrenceville yard: More dead dopers in Lawrence. Which is better than more people dead BECAUSE of dopers in Lawrenceville.

WAYNE CO.—Investigations could be compromised: The emerging true story of ISP investigator Rick White and his bad habits of talking too much might be affecting a serious, upcoming sex abuse case.

COLUMNS: Surly & Uncooperative: Old age and green leafies are both just evil; Icy: Injury to CO highlights dangers of ‘pepper spray’; Prose & Cons: Protecting children from pornographers: is it an internet grab, or is it necessary?; Keepin it Kleen: Five simple ways to jumpstart the economy.

VOICE OF THE PEOPLE: Happy reader in the federal pen!; Making Crazy Jim and ChickenBob nervous, Disclosure-style; Disgusted by relative: Yron Yrue Young; Understandable outrage over DREAM Act legislation; Fear of Favoritism?

BACK OVER YOUR TALES: Recounting the horror of the travesty that was the Julie Rea Kirkpatrick Harper trial in Carlisle; exclusive interview with Joel Kirkpatrick’s bereaved father Len; Camilla the Kickboxer Denison of Champ is confirmed a Michigan felon; Mt. Carmel cops are told no  more operating as a bouncer at local bars; Fairfield mayor Mickey Borah again floats his idea about sinking a quarter of his county under a lake; Windsor Oaks Teletrack closes, is the hotel next?; Clay City Gaskin Lake owner Ron Bangert under fire over fish kill from PETA; Devvy Kidd column on minimum wage featured; the truth about the adverse health effects of rapeseed oil, aka “canola oil.”

PHOTO FEATURES: Mt. Erie Cruise-in; Bone Gap Chowder; Noble Chowder and Homecoming; Ridgway accident victim recovering.

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Posted by Jack Howser on Aug 23 2011. Filed under Breaking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry