The horde of wannabe’s are about to invade Hardin County

(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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By Jack Howser

Published: August 6, 2011

HARDIN CO.—Yep. We’re talking about the juggaduds. Also known as morons, pretend-thugs, listeners of extraordinarily bad music, and all-round bad (nay, atrocious) dressers. Poor Hardin County is prepping for the annual invasion, set to take place next week, of hordes of fans of the Insane Clown Posse (ICP), a has-been rap group of sorts that saw better days probably more than a decade ago, but whose fans—composed of the lowest of lowlifes that humanity has to offer, people who have no self-respect, no concept of compassion for their fellow man, and no sense of decency when it comes to how a belt is supposed to hold up pants—just can’t seem to let go, and have created an event that revolves more around themselves than around whatever ICP is…or was.

The ICP, short version, is just a gansta cultcha-glorifying bunch of fat white boys who sing/rap about extremely violent themes such as raping hoes, chopping off people’s heads, doing dope/getting drunk, being pimps, etc. In other words, everything they’re NOT, and the more offensive the better.

The whole thing is set to take place on Tim York’s private campgrounds north of Cave-in-Rock, where, because it’s private, the local constabulary can’t come out and deal with anything unless York says that’s okay. That means all manner of criminal activity goes unchecked, including underage drinking, underage drugging, underage sex, dope dealing/partaking of recreational pharmaceuticals, filming live sex acts, fights, knifings, etc, this ALL according to folks who have been there and have witnessed it first-hand and relayed it to us. Of course, this leads to all kinds of problems when the doped/drunk/underage little crims come crawling off the campgrounds, attempting to drive unlicensed or suspended, in vehicles that are driven across country that never should have made it here in the first place. Then, when they get arrested, they have just enough money to bond out, and have to panhandle to return to their home in far-flung places like Colorado and New Hampshire.

The Gathering, as it’s called, thus creates a headache for law enforcement and the citizenry/taxpayers of Hardin, as the county board, who are largely ball-less, hasn’t yet come up with a way to either shut York down, or fee him enough to where it’s at least worth it for the police to put up with it all. The out-of-staters clog up the local jails, post bond, then disappear, never to darken the halls of the courthouse in Elizabethtown again. They also rip off the local stores, particularly WalMart in Harrisburg, as well as bathe in the sinks there, and generally make a mess and a nuisance of themselves.

This year, the offerings of “entertainment” are every bit as ridiculous as ICP themselves, including such class acts as Busta Rhymes, Flava Flav, Ice Cube, MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Jimmy “JJ” Walker. We’re not quite as opposed to these performers; they’re downright mainstream by comparison to ICP, however, we prefer their parodies:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW0G1CxyvWA

However, these people also enjoy rasslin, and they have a whole slew of Juggalo Wrestlers who will be putting on a show at some point, along with all these fine singin/rappin dumbshits, like the thumbnails shown here. And as much as we’re kind of saturated with “professional wrestlers” here in southern Illinois, we’re not familiar at all with the weirdoes the juggheads are offering this year at the Gathering, but…the more obscure they are, the less they’ll be missed if they’re torn apart by stoned ‘los and ‘lettes.

What’s sad is that these people—Juggalos and Juggalettes, as they call themselves, names derived from an early ICP tune, “The Juggla” (juggler), all have talked themselves and each other into believing that they are some kind of unique, community-oriented, loving family who are merely misunderstood by people who are “prejudiced” against them somehow, likely because of never having listened to their music, which extols the virtues of wanting to get rid of child molesters, parents who beat their children, and those who seek to enslave mankind.

That’s not exactly the kind of thing that comes to mind when listening to such ditties as “Cartoon Nightmare,” wherein they sing about “I like cuttin heads off, blood trail through the house, down to the basement where I hollow them out, run lady, I’m on you, don’t reach for the phone, I’m gonna cut you up and voodoo drums with your bones.” I mean, that sounds all loving and peachy….dontcha think? Very family-oriented.

Nevertheless, we’re going to be fair about it…since we’re the only presence online that actually takes a stand against this brain-mushing nightmare that’s perverting young minds and an event that’s giving all those new perverts the outlet to ply their new avocation, we’d like to issue a challenge to the ‘los and ‘lettes—show us how you are one big family and aren’t the egregiously offensive people we’ve come to know you as. IF you are able to understand what I’m saying here, bring us your view—complete with photos or videos, showing how wonderful and magnanimous your ‘family’ really is, and what it is you see about the ICP and the Gathering that draws you to it and gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Send your information to us at disclosurenewsonline@yahoo.com and let everyone see that you’re not just talking out your ass….you really mean what you say, and that your event, your ‘family,’ is a great thing.

In the meantime, we’ll be letting everyone else know what Hardin County is dealing with, including Charlie Sheen, a featured performer and the one recently voted “most likely to get Tila Tequila’d on stage this year” in an independent unscientific poll….so be looking for it all in upcoming posts, as well as the next print version, on stands August 24!

Tagged with: Cave-in-Rock, Charlie Sheen, ICP, Insane Clown Posse, Juggalettes, Juggalos, The Gathering, Tim York